Arrival
Suddenly a quietness came over the house. I was “here.” Had I arrived? Is this what this FEELS like? My eyes cleared. I made lunch and sat down at the table and ate my broccoli salad while the toast toasted in the oven. Hmm? What WAS this? I felt it a little. It was quiet. A gentleness. Nice. It was nice. I like nice.
I had vowed that morning to give up coffee completely. That and every other thing I’d loved so much in LIFE. What was I THINKing? Sweet, confident coffee. I liked the sound of THAt. Well, at least I USEd to. One sip and I immediately remembered why I had made the decision to give it Up! Up! Small headache in my forehead, acidic taste in my throat and my joints Already felt weak. This wasn’t serving ME. Me. Why couldn’t I GIVE IT UP? Just Give it Up? Hmm? I was baffled!
How could I keep going back to something that was no longer serving me? Was that humanly possible? “Yes, Lindsay. It is. We are all human, after all,” a voice said to me. It was my HIGHER SELF talking. SHE had it DOWN and when I mean DOWN, DOWN pat. Like a Rock. She was Rock Solid. Not only in her ways, but in her ideas and thoughts about the world. No Thing could sway her. NOTHING. Her Roots not only went deep, but WIDE. She had spanned mountains, crossed borders. Ocean floor was no thing. Her wingspan was immeasurable. It had NO boundary. Her love was endless and her ability to heal and help others was bountiful. Yet, she kept a little stone jewel. A jewel of goodness just for her. Deep down she was unstoppable.
Snap!
I snapped back into reality and suddenly I was staring at a messy, after-lunch table. We cleaned and I made a change right then and there. I will be ALIVE and DO what I enjoy with limits and the knowledge that although it may not make me feel one hundred percent good now, that I am only human and we are all on this journey just trying to figure it out. As my friend Kelly said, “Everything is solve able.” And she was right. I Can and will figure this out, once and for all. “In time, Lindsay. In due time.” That was my Higher Self talking. She’s back. Back for good this time. Perfect timing.
